The Causes of Conflict between wife and husband difficulty with
most of us is that we have a tendency to concentrate upon God `s
instructions to the other party in the marriage relationship and to
neglect God `s instructions to us.
Most men strive valiantly to be the head of their wives and to demand submission, because they are well versed in God `s instructions to women. All the while they fail to realize that God has never commanded them to try to be the head; God tells them they are the head. You do not have to try to be what you are.
They also fail to realize that they may crack the whip of authority from now until doomsday and not succeed in gaining even one degree of submission. Submission, as we have seen, is a matter of the will, and it is never brought about by force; it must be constrained by love. That is why command to husbands is not: "Demand submission", but rather, "Love your wives as Christ loved the Church".
The average man thinks, "If my wife would only obey the command of the Bible and submit to me, then I would love her and serve her as Christ loved and served the Church." But remember, the command is not: "If she submits, love her." There are no "if `s" about it. God `s order to man is simply, "Love her." The causes of conflict between wife and husband is that man is obligated to love his wife whether or not she submits.
So it is in the case of many a woman. She reads that the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the Church, and realizing the love and the service that this involves, she thinks to herself, "If my husband only loved and served me as Christ does the Church, then, of course, I would be delighted to submit to his every wish." But, notice, the command is not: "If your husband loves and serves, then submit." There are no "if`s" in the command. The word was God says, Submit! This stands as the duty of every woman, regardless of her husband`s attitude, as long as it does not causes of conflict with her obligation to God.
If we read carefully and thoughtfully what the Bible says about this subject, we observe that God seems to direct the wives over to a corner by themselves, apart from their husbands, and gives them their instructions, and then He gathers the husbands over in another corner apart from their wives and instructs them. The instruction to the wives is to submit. The instruction to husbands is to love. God knows that love begets submission and that submission begets love. Thus, if husbands will fulfill their obligations and wives will fulfill theirs, the result is bound to be unity and harmony and blessing.
The exhortation of Peter then, is: Obey the commands of God in the marriage relation, "that your prayers be not hindered."
Most men strive valiantly to be the head of their wives and to demand submission, because they are well versed in God `s instructions to women. All the while they fail to realize that God has never commanded them to try to be the head; God tells them they are the head. You do not have to try to be what you are.
They also fail to realize that they may crack the whip of authority from now until doomsday and not succeed in gaining even one degree of submission. Submission, as we have seen, is a matter of the will, and it is never brought about by force; it must be constrained by love. That is why command to husbands is not: "Demand submission", but rather, "Love your wives as Christ loved the Church".
The average man thinks, "If my wife would only obey the command of the Bible and submit to me, then I would love her and serve her as Christ loved and served the Church." But remember, the command is not: "If she submits, love her." There are no "if `s" about it. God `s order to man is simply, "Love her." The causes of conflict between wife and husband is that man is obligated to love his wife whether or not she submits.
So it is in the case of many a woman. She reads that the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the Church, and realizing the love and the service that this involves, she thinks to herself, "If my husband only loved and served me as Christ does the Church, then, of course, I would be delighted to submit to his every wish." But, notice, the command is not: "If your husband loves and serves, then submit." There are no "if`s" in the command. The word was God says, Submit! This stands as the duty of every woman, regardless of her husband`s attitude, as long as it does not causes of conflict with her obligation to God.
If we read carefully and thoughtfully what the Bible says about this subject, we observe that God seems to direct the wives over to a corner by themselves, apart from their husbands, and gives them their instructions, and then He gathers the husbands over in another corner apart from their wives and instructs them. The instruction to the wives is to submit. The instruction to husbands is to love. God knows that love begets submission and that submission begets love. Thus, if husbands will fulfill their obligations and wives will fulfill theirs, the result is bound to be unity and harmony and blessing.
The causes of conflict between wives and husbands:
The virtue of such unity is seen to its greatest advantage in the power of the combined prayers of husband and wife. When the partners of a marriage are disobedient to the voice of God, their prayers are "hindered". When they obey God, the result is agreement, and thus they can claim the promise of Jesus, "If two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven" (Matt. 28:19).The exhortation of Peter then, is: Obey the commands of God in the marriage relation, "that your prayers be not hindered."